Tantrums are a burst of tears, snot, screams and rage that baffle us and even frustrate us as mothers. Mom, Understand My Tantrums: They’re My First Step To My Emotional Intelligence.
We know it can be desperate to try to calm our angry little child, but the way you manage these explosive situations will mark your child’s emotional future.
One thing that surprises many families is the peculiar character that many toddlers show from an early age.
It is striking that they differ so much from other children and even from their own siblings.
It is also common for us to ask ourselves who they look like and where they have got this almost indomitable temper from.
Well, there is one aspect that needs to be clarified from the beginning. A child’s personality depends on many factors, the context in which he or she grows up and the interaction received are key elements.
However, there is a genetic factor that we will have to assume, accept and understand. Each child is unique and has its own character. What’s more, we will see it from the first month through his style of eating and resting.
Don’t try to find a reason why your child experiences so many tantrums.
Simply manage, understand. It’s a task you probably didn’t foresee, but we assure you that we are all capable of being skillful architects of that emotional world of our children that sometimes happens explosively.
In “HowToFind” we give you all the keys.
Tantrums Starts Early and Should be Managed as Soon as Possible
A boy or a girl will start to show tantrums from the age of one.
In fact, they will be intense until the age of 4. This is the stage where the brains of the youngest children begin to mature, to make more intimate contact with what surrounds them in order to demand their space, their things, their needs.
If we don’t have them, if we don’t get them, they explode. This frustration experienced is really painful for our children, and if we do not act wisely, intuitively and patiently in this first stage between the first year and 4, the issue can become complicated in the following ages.
Temper tantrums should NEVER be ignored
It is important that we remember two key terms:
- Tantrums are not ignored: it will be of no use if our son cries, shouts and kicks that piece of furniture until he gets tired. What we get in that case is for him to feel even more frustrated.
- We should not intensify the tantrums, that is, responding with screams further increases the emotional burden on both sides, on ourselves and on the children.
We must have a clear aspect, from the first year to 3 years our children are not aware of what happens to them. They feel overwhelmed by their emotional world and think that what happens to them has no solution.
Always remember that these outbursts of rage are a “bad way” to tell you that something is happening to them that you must understand.
Calm down, I’m here for you and let’s solve it without raising our voices.
Both the child itself and we as mothers and fathers must understand that growing up entails on the one hand accepting the frustration and even the pain that this entails.
- They are not always going to have what they want and that, they must understand it from the first year.
- When your child explodes in his temper tantrum, don’t move away from him, or tell him to shut up with a scream. With a quiet voice, we will encourage him to be CALM. An expression and a quiet voice creates a suitable climate for emotions to relax.
- Until the child has stopped crying, we will not be able to talk to him, so the ideal is to place ourselves at his height to make them see that we are there and prevent them from hurting themselves.
If the tantrum occurs in a public space, try to take it to a quiet place where the two of you are alone so that it can vent calmly.
It is never too early to educate in Emotional Intelligence.
Between the first year and the age of 4, the most important moment opens to lay the foundations of a true Emotional Intelligence.
To do this, we invite you to consider these simple strategies.
- Children need to understand their limits, what can be done and what can’t be done. The sooner they understand it, the safer they will find in their daily lives.
- Don’t be afraid to give a “NO” in time, something so simple avoids us later problems.
- Be congruent with the rules and never break them.
- Make use of cardboard with drawings. On each card we will draw an emotion: anger, fear, sadness… It is necessary that children learn as soon as possible to identify these negative emotions in order to know how to channel them.
- To do this, we will explain what can be done with each emotion. If I feel angry, I must explain out loud why I feel that way. Learning to communicate emotions in the first person is something very useful that we can encourage from early stages in a simple, elementary way.
In conclusion, we are aware that each child is a world and that some can become very demanding.
However, remember, the secret lies in having patience, always being close and affectionate and understanding that emotional education with a child starts from the first day you hold him in your arms.
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