While it’s hard to make rules for teenagers and get them to obey, it’s easier if they’re used to rules and boundaries and to listening to their parents. So the task must start when they’re young. Rules For Teens In Our Home.
Teenagers go through a time of rebellion very difficult for living at home.
They do not admit paternal authority and believe that they are always right.
They want to do whatever they want regardless of the consequences or established rules.
In addition, hormonal changes make them easily lose control and get angry over anything, showing disproportionate and melodramatic reactions such as locking themselves in their room, shouting, insulting or crying.
It’s also complicated for parents because they find themselves in a situation: if we’re too rigid and strict, it’s possible to lose their confidence; but if we’re too permissive, they can end up getting into bigger messes.
All of this makes it very difficult to be a parent of a teenager, and even more so to establish a set of rules in the home and get them to follow them. But everything is possible with patience and affection.
Tips for Setting Rules for Teenagers
- Establishes a series of simple basic rules, it is not necessary to have a thousand rules for everything.
- Consensus the rules with the child, so it is easier for him to follow them. For example, the time of arrival home, what days of the week to go out with friends, how much time to devote to television or the console, etc.. As well as punishments or consequences.
- Don’t be authoritarian or say “because I say so”. For kids of this age that doesn’t work, they need reasons. Try to make him see that most of the rules are for his own good and to avoid harm or harm, such as something wrong with him if he goes out late or suspends if he spends too much time fooling around with the TV.
- Don’t asphyxiate your child with the rules or overprotect him. That way, he’ll only lose confidence in you and end up doing what you’ve forbidden him to do on the sly.
- Adapt the rules to his age and see them change as he grows and matures.
- Even if it doesn’t seem like it, children need (and in the end they want) that they set limits for them and that their parents are aware of them. They are not as independent as they would have you believe. When they have clear limits, they are less likely to get into trouble and, on the contrary, children who have total freedom tend to think that their parents “pass” on them and have more problems.
- Remember also that the boy does not disobey because it is bad or to make you suffer, it is something inherent to the age.
- Always listen to his reasons when he doesn’t want to comply with a rule or sees it as disproportionate. Maybe he’s right and you can come to a new agreement. Or not, but you should always listen to him.
- When your child is responsible, you can give him more freedom and autonomy. If not, don’t give in. It is better to reward good deeds than to punish bad ones.
- Also tell him about your worries and what scares you about these new situations, such as drinking, trying drugs or behaving inappropriately. Talk honestly with him, even if it’s hard sometimes.
- The negative consequences for not complying with the rules, in addition to being logical and proportionate, must be complied with immediately and not last long because, with the passage of time, the child will forget the cause of the punishment and alone and will feel angry and resentful.
- No matter how old he is, while he lives at home he must respect a series of rules for living together, but they must adapt to his age; the rules for a boy of 15 are not the same as for a boy of 25.
- Never impose a punishment that you are not willing to comply with or threaten with consequences that the boy sees that are impossible, such as throwing him out of the house or never letting him go out again. This undermines your credibility.
- Don’t use guilt to make him feel bad or embarrass him in front of other people. Problems are solved at home and alone.
- It’s normal for teens to make mistakes. Don’t make firewood from the fallen tree and help them solve their problems and overcome their mistakes.
- It is essential that you always show your child love, affection and understanding, even if it sometimes costs. You should not punish him when you are very angry or yell at him. If he has done something very wrong, calm down before talking to him. And although teenagers don’t usually like their parents’ effusive displays of love, don’t stop giving them hugs and kisses whenever they stop and telling them “I love you” so that they know that you love them no matter what.
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