Love In Time Of Millennials: Why Do Young People Find It So Difficult To Find A Stable Partner?

It’s one of the generations that uses technology most to meet people, but it doesn’t seem to be very lucky in love.

HTF spoke with two specialists to understand what today’s young people are looking for and what they are getting in their relationships.

Love In Time Of Millennials: Why Do Young People Find It So Difficult To Find A Stable Partner?
Teenager using a smartphone

They are the most controversial and criticized generation. Unconcerned, addicted to technology, much has been said about the millennials or Generation Y- young people born between 1982 and 1999-, which are the object of constant study around the world. And so are their love lives.

Despite the number of applications to meet people with the same tastes and preferences, finding love seems to be more difficult for them than for other generations.

In 2017, a study by the University of San Diego revealed that this generation does not have sex on its list of priorities.

Other research carried out in previous years also states that these young adults cannot establish lasting relationships, since they resign themselves very quickly. No sex, no stable partner.

“I attend millennials all the time and the ways of loving give priority to virtual communication, as well as to sharing tastes or having affinities for certain subjects.

Teenager sitting on stairs while using laptop

Sex for the young people of this new century is not a priority, nor is complying with the rules imposed by the environment. They want to know what it is about to be free in body and soul, a revolt that demands to be felt,” said Dr. Frank Russell, psychiatrist and sexologist.

It is the millennials themselves who recognize the changes and difficulties their generation faces in finding their better half, while wondering if that is really the ultimate goal they want to achieve.

Do you really want to find your soul mate? The vlogger specialist in this generation Hannah Witton explained in her YouTube channel that one of the biggest reasons why they don’t find love is because they have to go out into the real world after looking for love in dating applications.

“They choose couples through apps because they are a generation that appeals to the dizzying career with technology, where they learned everything, grew up with it, are almost native to technology and control the world through it, try to find a partner according to their tastes and they find it difficult. In general, they don’t find eternal partners with this method, but there are always exceptions,” psychologist Carol Goldberg told to HTF.

One of the factors that both specialists highlight the most is the lack of true communication, the product of a disappointment after idealizing a person long behind a screen and see it in person.

“Young millennials are more disposed to diverse contacts, they let themselves be carried away by desire, the desire, the restlessness to know what happens with their capacities to seduce and make their bodies visible. Desire is not influenced by the social pressure that ‘because you are young you must be tall’.

Love In Time Of Millennials: Why Do Young People Find It So Difficult To Find A Stable Partner?
Boy using a Laptop to find a partner

On the contrary, they value and defend personal sexual desire. And even the lack of sexual attraction in relationships (young asexual) is considered a way of orientation that brings them conflict,” Russell emphasized.

“They work a lot with everything that digitalization is, they are more interested in audio and visual experiences than emotional ones, they don’t cling to the things they can create, they are impulsive and changeable, that’s why it’s difficult for them to cling to a single person, it’s difficult for them to establish themselves because of an idealization that they did and that way they can’t maintain relationships,” said Carol Goldberg.

On the other hand, young couples have naturalized the defense of each other’s times as the “norm” and, therefore, there are no claims; if the other studies, works, plays sports or meets with friends, it is not a reason for conflict. It is sought that the union of couple does not absorb the personal life.

“It is possible that in these last times the millennials face the responsibilities with a more congruent knowledge with what they want. I assist young people who work a few months to gather savings and with them go on vacation or others who present themselves for temporary jobs abroad and make their adventure outside the home,” emphasized Russell, and Goldberg agreed: “They have a hard time settling down, they are definitely changing in every way.

Not everything is forever

Girl in gray cardigan holding black iPad outdoors

“Many of these young people know that over time they will have to assume the same adult responsibilities in order to stay in tune with a system of relationships and social esteem.

However, the idea of responsibility has changed to give rise to personal desire: do I really want to do this? On the sexual field is where you see most personal gaze on relationships and love,” concluded Russell.